How to Find Love Online
Expecting the unexpected, that is the thrilling experience of online dating
By Abigail Chua
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The roasted aroma of coffee beans filled the café. Jack held on to her tender hands and gazed into her loving eyes. He felt a smile creeping onto his lips, how lucky did he get.
“What?” Jill asked, “Why do you keep smiling at me?”
Jack shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. Two years later, he could still feel the passion and spark between him and Jill. The same long talks laced with every ounce of transparency.
Every date is a perfect date, ever since the beginning when they first met on Tinder, an online dating application popular among youths today.
According to a survey done by Ogury (July 17, 2017. Retrieved 30 July 2019), Tinder has claimed more than 50 million users and 10 million who logged on daily. Online dating has changed the dating scene.
In an article by Channel News Asia (July 19, 2019, Retrieved July 30, 2019). Ms Jessebelle Peh, 24, said, “The app definitely shorten the process in choosing the right one, because you are able to filter through potential matches and suss out who is likely to have the traits you are looking for.”
What do dating apps look for?
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Age
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Picture (so the other party knows how you look like)
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Religion (is it important?)
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Race (are you willing to date someone of a different race?)
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Short description of yourself
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Sexuality (which gender are you interested in?)
“What you like to see in somebody is something you’re looking for,” Ms Evangeline Low, 46, a marriage counsellor from Victory Family Centre said. “So yes, these requirements are important when it comes to finding love.”
Information about you to join dating apps
When you swipe, it is best to find someone who is the most compatible with you to ensure both your values align. This creates common topic to talk about to avoid awkward silence.
“When there’s nothing to talk about and there’s an awkward silence, that’s just a bad date,” said Mr Maier Tan, 18, as he recalled the worst date he was on.
To avoid unpleasant experiences like Tan’s, it is advisable to find someone who is on the same wavelength and compatibility as you. If it is a match, start a conversation, go out on a date.
However, online dating comes with the risk of catfishes, it is safer to do a background check on the other party before going out.
OkCupid's vast selection
Exchanging socials such as Facebook or Instagram can make it easier to ensure that the person you are talking to is real and not impersonating someone else.
“Stalk their Instagram, stalk their Facebook. See their pictures, who they hang out with and see what they’re like,” Ms Alvina Liew, 24, said. Having their social makes it easier to identify the kind of person they are.
After ensuring that the person you are talking to is real, set a date. First dates help you to know if you get along well with the person of interest.
Going out on a face-to-face date helps you access and gauge if you and the other party get along well. After all, a first date is to get to know the other party better.
“Open-mindedness, don’t expect too much on the first date,” Tan advised. “Be yourself, be casual. Don’t need to put a fake image of yourself.”
To avoid disappointments, walk into a date with no expectations. This is your first time meeting someone online and you will never know what to expect. This is the beauty of online dating.
However, it is advisable to meet in a public location to protect yourself from dodgy individuals with impure intentions.
According to asecurelife (retrieved August 5, 2019), enlist the help of a friend. Let someone know your whereabouts and the person you are with so they can check in to ensure you are okay.
If fate is on your side and everything goes smoothly like Jack and Jill. A relationship blossoms.
“Transparency is very important. If both parties are very real and there’s nothing hidden it can help the relationship. Communication is important too,” Evangeline said.
These key ingredients takes two people beyond engaging online profiles. Like Jack and Jill sitting at the coffee house.
“Your coffee is here ma’am,” the server said as he placed the cup of cappuccino in front of her. Jill looks down at the coffee art and the swirl of the milk brings out the three words.
‘Will you marry me?’